Indian hindi shows can surprise anyone, not because of their awe-somatic screenplays and story lines but for their monotonous replays and fixed notches. Every serial seems to be the same, except for differences in names, characters and locations.
Here are some of the ridiculous things that can happen to us, if we live inside a television serial,
1. Women Look Beautiful All The Time
Women would look good all the time, and forget about PJ’s and night suits, messy hair or crumpled suits; saris would double up as everything. Most importantly, it’s important to be clad in heavy saris and jewelry anytime and all the time. Be it when waking up or sleeping in, it’s necessary that women are dressed up, especially the Bahus.
2. Men Are In Great Demand
There’s a great demand for men, and there will be at least 3-5 women fighting over the same man. The guy doesn’t even have the luxury of choosing one amongst them for the mother, would be engaged in the same.
3. The mother-in-law would always be a tradition persistent and orthodox woman, who believes in getting things done her way no matter what.
4. Love always starts with a fight, and in the end, they would end up falling hard for each other and become World’s best pair.
5. There’s no Karma, for it’s always the baddie who wins and the do-gooder gets screwed up.
6. Each and every family would have an absurdly large number of people, at least 20-of them. Screw ‘We two, ours two’.
7. They can’t make Love Ever.
To top it all, No matter how long they’ve been married the hero and heroine never get a chance to make out due to one reason or the other. They would have to wait until Episode-300 for a duet in the least.
The villain would try to take away the heroine from the hero while the hero’s great aunt’s daughter would try to snatch away the hero from the girl. So life’s all about competition and fighting for your love. Oh so this is what, ‘Fighting for love’ is all about. 😛
9. Each and every household will have one illegitimate child and many illegal affairs.
10. The only cause of death would be heart-attack. Screw diseases, accidents and suicides.
11. A hero will be able to kick and smash any number of gangsters, but goes all woozy groovy when the heroine tries to clean his wounds-up with frequent aahs and oohs.
12. No matter in what profession the husband might be in, all their houses would be posh with most of them being 10-storey buildings.
13. If and if only they do make out, then the couple wouldn’t be able to conceive which mostly a fault on the girl’s side and never the case of the guy being impotent.
14. The villain or the bad guy can never get caught owing to reports getting stolen or replaced.
15. Most of the storylines go like this
Hero loves the heroine-> marries her-> divorces her-> marries her sister/friend-> marries her-> divorces her-> and in the end marries the heroine again.
16. And it’s not advisable to have a baby, for they might get lost, exchanged or stolen.
17. Everything in life comes with background music/ songs or noise.
E.g.: When a plate falls to the ground, the BG will be that of the plate falling down at least 3 more times.
18. The lead character will always be unhappy, and will keep trusting others no matter how many times she is ill-treated or deceived.
19. Grandparents get to be immortal without any Tapas or boons. Whoa.
20. Laws of gravity/ physics/ science/Logic are not valid in the least.
People die and get buried, yet when a look-alike shows up; the family members take it that he/she is back from the dead.
21. Husbands do nothing in life but answering calls, choosing suits, romancing secretaries or doing PPT’s.
22. The city or the locality will have one temple or restaurant where most of them show up, no matter what.
23. The extent of being evil is directly proportional to the amount of make-up, you wear.
So more evil you are, the more amount of make-up you get to wear Waah.
24. Falling in love and getting married is what life is all about.
Screw career or friendship for most of the characters would have rich fathers, loving mothers and endless budget.
25. Not to talk about the Flash slaps that happens at least thrice in one-go.
Sometimes the audacity of the slap can even crack your screen.
26 .The Bahu gets to be the family super glue; she has to cook, clean and scrub all at the same time.
She is prioritized to have zero social life and the level of success of the Bahu, is decided by how sweet her dessert is or how round her rotis are.
27. Not to forget about the so-called comic relief in these soaps. Unless you experience it; the idea of a comic relief seems great but at the end you know the monotonous and silt of scenes are better than them.
The comic relief might force you take relief from life. Just kidding. 😀
In retrospect, it’s sad that we know all this but still view these drones over and over again. And in our opinion, these serials should be preceded with a warning that goes like,
‘The following program is a highly fictional monotonous documentary that is made out a real-life situation that never really happened or will happen’… 😀 😀