Love is a funny thing and a freakishly confusing emotion. I mean come on, there is that one love that you have for your family and best friends (I wouldn’t say just friends because that isn’t love), then you have the strange heart-throbbing kind of love for a person who is not blood related or for that matter may be a stranger. It’s that kind of love that involves physical, mental and emotional attraction towards a person you can’t share with anybody in this whole wide world. And that my friends is the strongest and the weirdest emotion you will feel for anyone in your life. I do hope you never go through this but anything can happen in love and war.

Why I’m forced to write this is because I’m confused, my mind is not at the right place and I refuse to believe that I’m the only person who’s going through this feeling.

Now imagine this situation — you’re in love with this person who loves you like you’ve never been loved before but you can’t be together. Why? Because you know it. He or she may not have the same thought, but you know it and that is enough for you to move on and suffer in silence.

I don’t believe in the fact that love is unconditional, sometimes love has so many conditions that you get too afraid of making that same mistake again. It’s true you can’t help falling in love sometimes — it may be with a person you just met or a moment you shared with your best friend that made you fall and fall hard for him or her.

However, the bitch of the whole situation is that sometimes your mind speaks louder than your heart. You heart says a thousand times Yes but mind knows it won’t work out. The next obvious question would be ‘why not’ and trust me I don’t really have one correct answer to that.

May be you were in love once, you were in love twice but three is an unlucky number.

You do really want to feel all of those things again but you don’t want to take a chance, you feel scared and you’re not wrong. You’ve got a perfect person in front of you, who has probably given you more love in a month than you got in all of those years you were in a romantic relationship with a person you loved once upon a time. You love the attention, the importance, the touch, the mush, nobody has ever made you feel so special and nobody ever would. But, you don’t want to get into it. I don’t want to get into it. I want to curl up and hide my face in my chair every time he says —

“We love each other, let’s go shout it out loud at the top of our voice from a mountain peak that we belong to each other.”

Nobody, absolutely nobody has made me feel so intense about this feeling called love. Ever. It’s beautiful. Love is supposed to make you feel happy and this person does exactly that but by the end of the day you think — “Is that all?” What if the heartbreak comes with a greater intensity than this? You know how it feels to let the person you love so much walk away because it was the right thing to do for the both of you, but habits remain. You got used to living without someone old despite all those things you miss about him, you don’t want to fall into the trap again. You just took some months to distract yourself to become independent again, and life has come a full circle. You’re at that point yet again — same stop, same feeling, where someone gives you so much love that it becomes too difficult to avoid it. It’s difficult to not fall for it. But you, deep down in your heart, know that it won’t work out.

love

He or she is the exact opposite of what you are. You don’t believe in the fact that opposites attract.

You lose your mind over how you could fall for someone new after losing someone so close to your heart recently. Such thoughts can make you go crazy. This kind of love is darker, shadier yet sexier kind of love. A love that you want to have but see no future in. You crave it but don’t see any practicality in it. Suddenly, when it comes to love, you become rational rather than natural. The thought of going with the flow sends shivers down your spine. When that happens, just know something’s wrong.

You let that person go because love with him or her is ‘too good to be true’.

Life is not a fairy tale, you know it and therefore, you don’t believe in the kind of romance you have with him. It’s unreal. So you let that person go, that person who’s probably the ‘right one’ for you. Fact of the matter is love is never enough, it never was, never will be. It won’t buy you a Ferrari or an island that you’d always dreamt of. For that you have to work without any distraction. Even if that means, feeling hollow on the inside each day till you die.

 

Our pasts haunt us to an extent that it leaves a scar and that too the deepest one. 

Love is an emotion, it’s not a gamble but you’re too occupied in your past to give your present a chance. I don’t know why that happens but if you know better, do give me a shout. Because I seriously don’t know. I seriously don’t know if I should blame it on the generation or past relationships or job or responsibilities or my superficial self or wrong timing. Whatever it is, it sucks.

 

Love is an emotion and it forces you to listen to the demon most of the times. 

Love is intense and just the fear of losing someone can make you do stupid things like lying; lying through your teeth. You don’t want to start a relationship with lies but you’re also too scared to hurt the person, so you go for an alternative — move on. Find somebody new to love, find them in a new person, spend days crying, howling, but somehow, you’d still feel it was the right thing to do.

Sometimes two people are just not meant to be. They may love each other to death but this world runs on rationality and love is anything but rational. So you’re probably just stuck in this ironical situation and all I can do is pray for you and pray for myself. Chances are you and your unsuccessful love will cross paths again, fall in love again and drift apart again.

 

Because it’s a vicious circle — the darker side of love.